Mondays, Writing and Alone-ness

I am so tired on Monday mornings! I should be ready to get back to work and produce knowledge, rejuvenated from a restful weekend. I always start the summer with all these plans to get so much done. I need to be writing and revising papers. Isn't that what this academic gig is all about? Then why does writing keep getting pushed to the back burner?

Am I avoiding my academic writing because it's hard? I don't think so. I like to tell myself that it is hard, but when I actually sit down to do it, it ain't so bad. Once I am doing it, I actually enjoy it.

So what is it? I really need to figure this out. I have a sense of urgency--something a senior colleague told me is necessary for success. But how much urgency is too much?? I'm losing sleep over this, having dreams (nightmares) about my first review. That ain't good.

I have been proactive, though. I have to, to keep my anxiety over this tenure thang manageable. I participated in Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore's teleconference on "Writing, Procrastination and Resistance" a few months ago. A very good workshop that helped me realize that I really need to think about what is getting in the way of me making a daily commitment to academic writing. I've also been reading (over and over again) Dr. Rockquemore's book, The Black Academic's Guide to Winning Tenure Without Losing Your Soul. I'll keep y'all apprised of my writing progress in this regard in future posts.

On another note, this past week I went to the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation New Connections Symposium. That was both inspiring and a little overwhelming. There were about 100 (no, that ain't a typo) researchers of color. We had lots of time to talk with each other about our work. I heard lots of junior folks like me talk about life on their campuses and they were very similar to mine. My experiences as an underrepresented faculty aren't "in my head" or me being "too sensitive."

I think the most important thing I learned there is that I am not alone. I knew that intellectually, but at the symposium, I felt it. That's a good thing.